One's Self

“Be true to yourself.” I bet that’s a phrase you heard growing up. Don’t give into peer pressure, stay true to yourself, don’t do something because other people are doing it be true to yourself. How many of us are truly true to ourselves? I realize that that’s a lot of “trues” but its true! You are the most dependable person that you will ever have in your life. Yes you may let yourself down from time to time or disappoint yourself but when it comes down to it, you don’t have to wonder what you are things or why you did something, deep down you know. When times get rough you are always there. When you accomplish something big, who is the first person to know? Yourself.  The pride you get from doing something well doesn’t have to be shared. You are your own best friend. And sometimes you are your own biggest challenger. Thing is when you are truely alone and you figure things out, you don't have to thank anyone or depend on anyone for consistency, because you know that no matter what , you will always be there.

So what.

So I don’t agree with your ways.

I don’t think that you are right.

It’s not how I want to live.

I’m done with this craze.

So what.

So I do things you don’t.

I’m a rebel.

An unbeliever.

I can’t put up the front.

So what.

So I want to leave .

To start again.

To begin anew

I don’t care if you will grieve.

So what.

So I’m done.

I quit.

Goodbye.

It’s not like I'm the first one.

So why do you care.

Apples

The things you learn as a child are like a tree, they have roots deep down into your everyday life and they provide a sturdy, trusty foundation for the rest of your life. There is room to grow up, to build up one that foundation but it always comes back down to the basis. There is a saying that the apple never falls far from the tree. Meaning that children are like their parents. In many ways parents encourage their children to stay in the orchard, they don’t want them to fall far from the tree because when they are close they will have the same nourishment, the same atmosphere and the same nutrients as the parent tree has, hopefully this means that the sapling will grow big and strong like the parent tree. Sometimes however the apple seed gets carried just a bit farther. Not far enough to be out of the shadow but close enough to see what’s out there. Close enough to wonder what it would be like to leave the shadows of the orchard. The main problem is that once you leave to orchard you might not want to come back. And if you don’t come back you lose the comfort and consistency of those around you. Once you leave the orchard you will change and change like that is not considered a good thing. So you remain on the edge, halfway in and halfway out, wanting to experience the new but scared of what life may bring without the old.

An Uncertain Future

I was told you are unsure of what you are going to be doing,

Not positive of your destination or the journey.

And as I pondered this thought and thought as I pondered,

I wondered, what’s the hurry?

Certainty is held in esteem by many,

There are people in this world who map out their lives to a T,

Their futures are set in stone and they are sure where they are going,

They know exactly what they will do and where they will be.

However, though this way of life in constant and sure,

It leaves no room for error, no room for spontaneity, no room for change.

The problem with this being that with everything in place

We don’t have any space for things new and strange.

So perhaps often uncertainty is misunderstood,

And if taken in the right context,

It can be better than good.

An Uncertain future is certainly full,

Of possibilities, of Hope, it’s in your control.

So go boldly, go freely, take many chances,

It won’t ruin your life; it will more likely enhance it!

Best wishes to you on this road that you’re taking,

And while you are leaving things behind,

You’ve got memories to be making.

It’s a new stage in life and I’m certain you’ll find,

If not what just what you’re looking for, at least some peace of mind.

Disappointment

When wrong is right and right tonight,

Yesterdays troubles are not as bright.

Live for the moment and the moment alone,

Tomorrow’s Tomorrow and Tomorrow’s unknown.

When bad is good, the bad within,

Comes to the surface and seems to win.

Control is lost and when without,

The world is full of fear and doubt.

Guard yourself, Guard yourself with care,

Make sure you know who you are and where.

Hurt is sneaky, it’s tricky, it’s sly,

You may only catch it in the corner of your eye.

Cause nothing’s so dark as the cloud of disappointment,

Even if you just let your guard down for only a moment.

It seeps in your life like a cold from within,

Dragging you down and making life grim.

No river’s as harsh as the one below,

High expectations, met with a “No."

Lately...

Lately I am figuring out who I am, figuring out what I care about and what I just do to make other people happy. Because really I am not super happy, not unhappy but more just conformant. Following the rules of what I grew up with no questions ask, blindly going along. I don't think I can do it anymore.